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Old September 17th, 2025, 01:54 PM   #1
Royal Hawaiian Opihi
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Warning Heading to the East Coast

My dad had a massive stroke Sunday night. My brothers have asked me to come and be with them to help advocate for my dad and make final decisions. We're not sure he's going to recover from this, and he has end of life preferences... so there won't be any heroic measures. He's 88. I should have a bunch of down time to log in and take care of things as necessary. But any help will be appreciated. Thanks.
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Old September 17th, 2025, 02:16 PM   #2
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Jim, I'm so sorry to hear about your father's stroke. I pray for strength and unity for you and your brothers as you honor your dad’s wishes and walk through this difficult time together. Collectively, we will maintain the administrative side of things here as long as needed.
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Old September 17th, 2025, 03:30 PM   #3
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Jim, Be safe on your travels. You and your family will be in our prayers.
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Old September 17th, 2025, 03:42 PM   #4
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Thank you both.
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Old September 17th, 2025, 04:32 PM   #5
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Sorry to hear that Jim, glad you are able to be with him, will be praying for you all.
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Old September 17th, 2025, 04:32 PM   #6
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Kelly and I are so sorry to hear this and will keep your dad and your family in our thoughts. Hoping for the best for him, but I know how difficult things can be at times like this. Strokes can be so difficult for all involved, adding in the end of life wishes can make these times even more difficult. As you know, I lost my mom at 80 just a couple years ago and my brothers made it difficult to honor her wishes. Ultimately I feel she suffered more as a result.

Feel free to reach out if you want to talk during any downtime. We just got home from 10 days in Florida and will be available until we fly out to Paris Sunday evening.
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Old September 18th, 2025, 12:00 AM   #7
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So sorry Jim!! Prayers for you and your family
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Old September 18th, 2025, 09:47 AM   #8
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So sorry to hear that Jim. Safe Travels!
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Old September 19th, 2025, 08:50 AM   #9
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Thanks, everyone. Spoke with the neurologist yesterday morning when I arrived in West Virginia. The stroke damaged 45% of his brain - all in the left hemisphere (which controls speech & cognition!). He hasn't 'awoke' from his coma, despite having the breathing tube removed. Because of his advance directives, we made the choice to move him to hospice yesterday. Now it's just a matter of time.
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Old September 19th, 2025, 11:51 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Royal Hawaiian Opihi View Post
Thanks, everyone. Spoke with the neurologist yesterday morning when I arrived in West Virginia. The stroke damaged 45% of his brain - all in the left hemisphere (which controls speech & cognition!). He hasn't 'awoke' from his coma, despite having the breathing tube removed. Because of his advance directives, we made the choice to move him to hospice yesterday. Now it's just a matter of time.
Our thoughts are with you, your father, and your entire family. Are other family members flying, Jody, Erza, Emily, etc.?
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Old September 19th, 2025, 05:40 PM   #11
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Our thoughts are with you, your father, and your entire family. Are other family members flying, Jody, Erza, Emily, etc.?
Nope. Just me right now.
Thanks, Mike.
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Old September 29th, 2025, 11:36 AM   #12
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Exactly 2 weeks after his massive stroke... and 11 days in hospice... my dad finished his journey on earth yesterday. I'm grateful that I was able to be with him during those 11 days in hospice. I stayed in his room 24/7... and even though he wasn't able to recognize me (or comprehend anything that was said to him during his coma), he wasn't alone. I'll be staying in West Virginia through Saturday night helping my brother pull documents together and start to get the house cleaned. The memorial will be Saturday morning... and I'll be back at home around midnight that night (up bright and early to lead worship the next day). Thanks for all the kind words and prayers.
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Old September 29th, 2025, 12:27 PM   #13
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So sorry for you loss Jim. Glad you were able to spend his last days with him. Prayers for your comfort during these hard times!!
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Old October 2nd, 2025, 09:52 AM   #14
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Funeral is Saturday morning. I'm flying back to LAX Saturday evening. Between now and then it's all about cleaning out my dad's house and getting documents in order (I'm the executor of his estate). Thanks for all the prayers and well-wishes, everyone.
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Old October 2nd, 2025, 10:00 AM   #15
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Sorry for your loss, Jim! Sending prayers for you and your family!
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Old October 2nd, 2025, 01:20 PM   #16
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Sorry for your loss, Jim. My heart goes out to you. I lost my dad several years ago following a massive stroke. He passed within 24 hours of his. He was conscious and he understood what was said, but he could not communicate back except for 'Yes' or 'No' responses through eyes or hand gesture - but you could see that he understood everything going on. It was good to spend the last few hours with him and glad you were able to be with your father for these last few days. Stay strong.
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