BREAKING NEWS: Highlanders Fall to Insects

[Flaxwless]

Shorthanded: Insects win 88 to 74
AP Newswire

BAY AREA - What could possibly be called the upset of the week and possibly the whole year the short handed Insects defeated the visiting Highlanders 88 to 74. Coming into the game the team was missing starting RBs Ladanian Tomlinson and Lamont Jordan and starting PK Sebastian Janikowski and at game time WR Matt Jones was pulled out due to a groin strain and RB TJ Duckett never saw the field.

Starting in place of the struggling Jake Delhomme, Jon Kitna led the 4 other offensive players and helped the struggling MIA defense with his 31 pts. The returning Steve Smith, lone RB Verron Haynes, Donald Driver, and TE Kellen Winslow combined for 45.5 pts between them. Despite the lack of firepower the Insects played tough and hard and eeked out a victory.

Coach Frank Alonzo said, "I'm proud of the way they played out there. We had our backs against the wall without our workhorses and our place kicker and then we lost Matt Jones and TJ never saw the field, we were left for dead. However, my players never gave up and with A LOT of help to the Highlanders we should be on track for some more 'Ws' Thanks."

The Highlanders posted a paltry 74 pts and were led by 2nd year QB Alex Smith's 28 pts. However the normally expolsive Johnson and Johnson connection (Rudie and Chad) was aboslutley horrid combining for 13 pts. To be fair, the Highlanders' did miss RB Reuben Droughns as they could not beat the 6 man team of the Insects with 8 players. The Highlanders left the field in shame, refusing to speak to reporters even as they loaded the team bus to leave the Bay Area.

However, QB Jon Kitna was more tha happy to speak with reporters. "We really needed this win. We've never started 0-2 and we could not start the season 0-3. So it's good to get that first win and with Steve coming back we should be full strength for the rest of the year with LT and Lamont done with their bye weeks. I just need to say thank you to the Highlander's for rolling over and let us step all over them."

[Preds]

ROFLMAO