[Burt the Butcher]

Dateline Sunday May 13, 2018

We now take you to the quickly put together press conference at the home of THE Dixie Chicken where coach/GM Burt is going to speak to the status of RFA Philip Rivers. We now go live at THE Coop:

Press Secretary Foggy: OK, we are about to begin, please everyone take your seats. Johnny, there is no smoking in the press room, especially THAT. Please put it out....Yes I know its legal here, but only in your own home or at a rock concert at The Can. Thank you. Ted, can you please turn down the music...you can listen to Cat Scratch Fever later.
Thank you, now please welcome Coach/GM Burt

Coach/GM Burt: Thank you everyone. I wanted to make the announcement regarding our decision on QB Phillip Rivers. Philip was a very worthy contributor to THE Chickens season last year, but due to injury and low production by others, we still finished in bottom half of the league. Phil is starting to age, and THE Chickens have decided to go with a youth movement.
So contrary to popular belief, and the fact that our backup QB is going to be on the same bye week as Phil, we have decide to NOT MATCH our veteran QB, and let him move on to greener pastures....well, only if ICE is green I guess.

Good luck in your new frigid home Phil. Fare Thee Well and good luck!!

Thank you.